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Like many women, I am constantly analyzing how to keep my booty “high & tight”. Since losing a bunch of weight, oh and aging…its impossible! I look at women in the magazines, in their workout pants, and in short shorts walking around all confident, and i’m like “Damnit!…why can’t my butt look like that!”.


…and here is what I realized.

The women in the magazines - Uh-Duh, of course they look like that. Thats why they are in the MAGAZINES! They are in their 20’s, have amazing genetics, and are either on crazy awesome diets OR are malnourished. Oh the biggest reminder…. They are 1% of the worlds population of women.

The women in workout pants - Hi. I should know more than anyone what workout pants do for a booty. I’m an f’ing workout leggings connoisseur. I get told all the time how nice my butt is. This isn’t even my butt! Its these 150$ leggings I just dipped into my savings for! Yet still, I look at other women in them and assume the same thing. Those must be their butts when they stand naked. Ummm hi…theres a reason they sell like hot cakes for those insane prices.

The women in short shorts - The women I see walking around showing their legs and booty’s off are either super young, or have genetics that gives them those great legs and butt as they age. Also, many of the women that have great legs and butt, have a belly they hide. Lets face it, almost all women fight fat in some area or another. Lastly and again, just like the magazine gals…confident gals in short shorts are like 1% of our female population.

Here’s the OH-SO INSIGHTFUL reality I came to as I walked up and down the beach with my adorable frenchie….

Shit starts to go south as we age. I saw women that were probably the “shorty short” types when they were young, but you see what age does to a previously lifted ass. I saw women that looked awesome in clothes and you would never guess till they got down to their bikini what was what. Then you saw that damn 1%. lol.

If you don’t live near a beach or frequent your local nudist colony, chances are, you’re brainwashed like I am. But here’s the thing….Of course the only booty we see is the booty THAT WANTS TO BE SEEN! We see this 1% walk around….then we look at magazines…then there’s the instagram booty pics…It’s endless brainwashing I tell you.

So though I know this is just the state of our societies perception today, I want to hold up a torch for all my fellow “Booty-Challenged” - AKA: Brainwashed, women and remind you that there is NO FUCKING PERFECT. Take the “goggles” off, and we are all just a bunch of mammals trying to live and be happy.