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Life Lessons..and Rando Hairs


Hi, my name is Carolyn and I think i’m officially a woman. Yeah, I think it happened about 2 years ago, but it was about 2 weeks ago that I really came to terms with it. See, in my 20’s I was pretty invinci…no, I was just an idiot. In my 30’s I took almost the entire decade to pull my ego out of my ass. And now in my 40’s, just as I’ve arrived at some semblance of maturity and wisdom, my body has decided to welcome me into this new chapter with a few new lessons.


Lesson #1 - The dumb shit you did to your body in the past, will come back to haunt you in your 40’s.

- I was bulimic, so now I have teeth and gum issues, and horrible acid reflux.

- My fitness adventure was driven by ego, so now my joints and bones are paying the price.

- I ate like crap, and yo-yo’d so much when I was younger that it is extra hard for me to stay lean & fit without injury.


Lesson #2 - Say goodbye to high impact anything. That shit hurts and you’ll pee yourself.

- I’ve always been a lover of running, jumping, and anything high impact, but something happens in our 40’s! Now I have to take an Advil, wear a diaper, and hold my boobs for dear life. WTF?!


Lesson #3 - Be prepared for something new to hurt every day.

- Seriously. Chances are, you’ll have 1 or more new “fun” little thing to deal with every day. And if you go to the doctor, you know what the doc will say? “Yeah, you’re in your 40’s..have a good day”.


Lesson #4 - You can build the muscle, but you can’t fight the skin.

- As a trainer, I see women of all ages, up close and personal. Even the most thin, muscley, and fit women…after 40, our skin starts to crape and sag no matter what we do. I have great abs! And even these beauties are being covered up by sagging baby - ginger - old lady skin.


Lesson #5 - Say hello to your FOREVER WRINKLES.. & a few rando hairs.

- Until 40, many of us could botox-away those li’l lines. But in our 40’s, we have to marry them for better or worse..because they’re here to stay..and they’re bringin friends.

We also get to start treasure hunting renegade hairs that jump out like a stalker in the night.


Lesson #6 - Oh you thought you were a bitch before!?….

- Hormonal changes before menopause. Fun!…NO, notes much. But OK, hold on….we can look at this 2 ways:

1. When you were younger, you were crazy and wouldn’t have been able to handle these hormonal changes. 2. Now you are more mature, so even though they SUCK, you’re better equipped to deal with the suckery.


Lesson #7 - If you didn’t obsess over wine before, you will now.

- I might be in the only chick over 40 that doesn’t obsess over wine after 7pm. But please let me remind you, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW, that wine before bed is an awesome way to pack on the pounds.


Lesson #8 - Oh and you’re going blind.

- Ok maybe not blind, but even if you had awesome vision every day before your forties, yeah…no, SORRY.


Lesson #9 - Enjoy this new fat in places you never had before. Curtesy of….AGE.

- Isn’t it fun?! I’m truly enjoying this new ANKLE FAT, I’ve got on top of my already thick ass cankles.

- And this is the type of fat that will be the last to go too, so welcome it with open arms, as it’s most likely home to stay.


Lesson #10 - And now for the most important lesson. CELEBRATE, ACCEPT, AND EMBRACE BEING HUMAN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

- Yes, in our 40’s we deal with aches and pains, we stop jumping, have loose skin & wrinkles, act like a bitch, drink wine, lose our 20/20 vision, and gain some fat. WE ALSO:


- Gain clarity and gratitude for life.

- Grow wisdom that helps us find inner peace.

- Form deep meaningful relationships and friendships.

- Work on ourselves from the inside out, and not the outside in.

- Enjoy the simple things in life.

- Hold greater appreciation for things than ever possible before.

- And live more authentically then our younger selves could have ever done.

And hell, for all we know.. on another planet, maybe wrinkles & mood swings are super hot! There is no reality... only perception baby.

So just be YOU.

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